Dear Annie: I would like to add to your advice to the mom whose 22-year-old daughter wants to move into her own apartment. Based on past experience, “Distressed About Departing Dependent” is worried that her daughter will soon be asking her for money to pay rent, which she is unable to provide. Your advice was to support her in other ways, but “if she asks for cash, tell her no, and stick to it.” The baby bird needs to learn to fly on her own. Good advice, but wrong timing.

As a parent, landlord and former family financial counselor, I would say the time to have the “no cash” talk is well before the daughter gets all excited and signs a year-long lease. Combine that with helping the daughter develop a realistic spending plan (budget) so she will know what impact paying rent will have on her lifestyle -- before signing a lease. There are excellent resources available in bookstores and online.

Then, if the daughter comes asking for rent money, Mom can say no with a clear conscience, and hopefully with no hard feelings all around, as this was all laid out in advance.

One of the best things my mother did for me was to say no when I asked for a loan as a young businessman in my 20s. It forced me to rethink my financial habits and set me up for success in my later years.

Sincerely, Timing Is Everything

Dear Timing: You make a good suggestion. Thank you for writing.